It’s a disgraceful feeling coming back from airports in India. The airports are pathetic when it comes to infrastructure - ticketing facilities, security clearance, baggage clearance, seating space, food, toilets - the list is endless. That story some other time.
This post is about an experience I had recently and is about the transportation facilities to and from the airports in India.
The story starts in Chennai, the city legendary for its defunct auto meters (an interesting take by Vatsa on Chennai autogaars)! Its 19:10 hrs, I am at Mylapore about 11 kms away from the airport and I have a 20:05 hrs flight to catch. Fortunately or unfortunately I have already checked in for the flight and the hunt for a means to reach the airport starts.
Me: Auto
Auto 1 – Driver stops next to me and asks, “Enga ponum saar”? This is Trick no.1. The auto drivers understand English and Hindi perfectly. You speak in a language other than Tamil, they know you are not from that part of the country and the game starts.
Me: Airport. Evalalo?
Auto 1 – Driver scratching his stubble, “Domestic aa International aa?” The Trick no.2, a question to check if you know the city. In Chennai, the entrances of domestic and international are almost next to each other. You flinch answering this question, you are dead!
Me: Domestic.
The driver not wasting a second, “200 kudungo saar”.
I start walking, looking for another rickshaw. The driver realizes that though I am probably not from the town, I seem to know my bearings.
So he follows me slowly in his vehicle and asks, “Evalo taringa saar”? Here comes the Trick no. 3, to check if you know the city, the distances and the rates. You quote the correct rate, chances are he will not haggle and agree straight away - if you are lucky that is! You quote any random number, he knows you don't know and you know he knows you don't know and the game is up!
I am caught, as I have never traveled from that point to the airport ever. So decide that it is best to avoid the question and start looking for another auto.
Me: Auto
Auto 2 Driver slows down.
Me: Airport. Evalalo?
Auto 2 Driver asks, “Domestic aa International aa”? See all drivers have mastered the trick!
Me: Domestic.
Auto 2 Driver knows that I have already rejected one auto, thinks for a while and says, “170”
Me having wasted 5 precious minutes look at another rickshaw and stop the third one. Me: Auto. AUTO!!
Auto 3 Driver immediately slows down, “Enga ponum?”
Me: Airport. Evalalo?
Auto 3 Driver having already seen me rejecting 2 guys, “150 kudungo”
Instinct told me not to trust this guy. But in the interest of catching the flight, I agree. As soon as I got in, I tell him to take me as fast as he could to the airport. My goof and his Trick no 4, knowing your weakness or soft spot. Now, avenues have opened up for him to squeeze that extra money from you tapping this. And as expected the guy takes a route different from the one I took to reach that place from the airport. And yes, it was longer. All the while he was telling me some story on how he was trying to help me reach the airport faster.
Its 20:40hrs now, I don't know where I am! Finally, he takes a turn and I notice a board indicating the way to the airport. 20:47 hrs, I can see the airport wall and suddenly the driver turns into a Petrol pump saying his is almost out of petrol. What? I never noticed him check his damn fuel gauge. The Trick 5 comes here; take an advance higher than the trip fare. Usually, fill in fuel worth (Rs.30-50) more than the trip amount and ask you to pay it. Never fall into this trap! If you do, kiss that extra amount good bye.
By this time, I had given hope of catching my flight. I jump out of the rickshaw, hand him Rs.100/- cursing him for his treachery and run onto the road to catch another one.
Me: Auto
Auto no 4 Driver slows down.
Me: Airport.
Auto no 4 driver, “Domestic aa International aa”? Gawd! I can see the damn airport!
I jump into the auto tell him to race to Domestic terminal. The driver realizes I am in a hurry. While on the way, I ask him how much and he asks for Rs.50, which I have no choice but to accept even though it was ridiculous as I could see the damn entrance of the airport. I reach the airport entrance at 20:52 and as I enter, I can hear my name being called for the final boarding. Anyway, as there was no crowd, I check in real fast and at 20:57 hrs I step into the flight 3 minutes before the departure.
The 90 minute long flight brought my anger down a bit as I was thinking that, at least in Mumbai, I wouldn't have to haggle on the fare etc., What I didn’t know was that more was to come.
I get down at the Mumbai airport at 22:30 hrs. Reach the taxi stand in front, wait my turn for a taxi for about 10 minutes and finally get into the taxi.
Taxi Driver, “Kahaan”?
Me: Mahim.
Taxi Driver immediately says, “Boss, barah ghante wait karna padta hai turn ke liye”? The damn Trick no 6, lament and get sympathy. The hint that he is going to charge more (probably double) than the meter. And all this, right under the nose of the traffic constable who made me sit in the taxi in the first place. If this is the case, I wonder why in the world they timepass for 12 hrs at the airport!
Me: Chalna hai ki nahi, meter pe?
Taxi Driver: Nahi.
I had no other option but to get out and decide that enough was enough and start walking to the exit of the airport. As I walk, an auto driver, who has obviously dropped some one and was going out, slows down and looks at me expectantly.
Me: Bandra?
He immediately gestures me to get in which I do. A little later, I reach my destination and as I get down check the Meter. Its Rs.28 for the trip. The guy notices this and immediately says, “Pachaas do”.
Me: Kya, meter kitna hua?
Auto driver, “airport se aaye hain, wahan police ko das-bees rupay dena padta hai”.
That was it, I had seen enough and this time I decide to take his case.
Me: Chalo Police ke paas, mere aagey paise dena usko.
He stares at me and then says, “do jitna dena hai”. I give him 30 and decide not to take any more cabs/autos for the day.
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